Upcoming tattoo

So I have an appointment next Thursday to get my next tattoo. Here is a picture......You like??? The stem will start on my upper part of my (right) foot and travel up towards my ankle to my instep (to the left of my ankle). Yes....I know it will hurt like HELL. But it will be well worth it. It is one of Mike's drawings that I have admired for a long time. It symbolizes my life in a lot of ways.

It's all going to be in color. The stem will be a few shades of green. The tear will be blue. The eye will be green to match my eyes...But I can't figure out what colors to make the flower. There will be a mixture of 2 different colors. A darker color where the darker parts of the flower are, and a lighter color where the lighter parts of the flower are....get where I'm going with this?? Here are MY thoughts....a firey orange (as the draker color) and a bright yellow (as the lighter color). Or a magenta pink and a bright yellow. Or a deeper blue/green with a hint of yellow for the lighter parts. Or bright orange with yellow. Or teal and yellow.... I keep going towards yellow, but I hear the lighter the color, the faster it fades. I do NOT like pink or purple. Those are my 2 hated colors. Can you give me some opinions?? I definitely need some feedback.....as I only have a week left. Please help!!! ;)

Family Matters

Do you ever feel like your an outcast or maybe a black sheep in your family? Well, I have for the majority of my life. It's something I have struggled with for longer than I can remember. My parents divorced when I was only 2 years old. My Dad and Grandma got very controlling and "protective". They basically never let me out of the house. Also, I hardly ever saw my Mom. I was very shy around her until High School. And we have built more of a friends relationship more than a Mother/daughter relationship. Some would say thats great...and sometimes I feel blessed. But a lot of time I don't even feel like her daughter. It can be hard sometimes. I also have a brother, Mike, and a sister, Michelle. They too sometimes treat me like I don't exist, or I just plain aren't their sister. They are in another world. I've always felt like I was on the outside looking in.....To something I've wanted so bad. I wonder sometimes do they do it on purpose or don't they even notice? Then I wonder which would be worse. Not sure how to fix these problems either...or if they will ever be fixed. I know people are worse off than me. But its been hard thinking that your Mother doesn't think of you as a daughter. or siblings you don't see you as their sister...Then there is my Dad's side of the family who never seem to take me seriously. So what if I didn't go to a real college?! I have a good job. And went to school for something I am passionate about. So what if I live with my boyfriend?! I love him. And if we do get married, its a marriage that will last, since I have already test drove it. Half the reason they all thought I was "bad" is they compared me to my Mother constantly. And I say..Ya...I am like her. So what?! I'm proud. My Mom is a good person, she too had a rough childhood. There are so many things I have learned over the years to ensure I'll be a great parent. Love. Respect. Honesty. Truthfulness. Privacy. Responsibility. I didn't receive these things growing up, and I don't want my children missing out on things I did. I've done a lot of growing up in the past few years; let go of a lot of grudges, dealt with pain, lost people I love, made hard decisions, figured out who my real friends are. I hope I continue on a good path. And hope my kids grow up happier than I did, as its taken a long time to "get over" things. Just venting......and or rambling..............