Upcoming tattoo

So I have an appointment next Thursday to get my next tattoo. Here is a picture......You like??? The stem will start on my upper part of my (right) foot and travel up towards my ankle to my instep (to the left of my ankle). Yes....I know it will hurt like HELL. But it will be well worth it. It is one of Mike's drawings that I have admired for a long time. It symbolizes my life in a lot of ways.

It's all going to be in color. The stem will be a few shades of green. The tear will be blue. The eye will be green to match my eyes...But I can't figure out what colors to make the flower. There will be a mixture of 2 different colors. A darker color where the darker parts of the flower are, and a lighter color where the lighter parts of the flower are....get where I'm going with this?? Here are MY thoughts....a firey orange (as the draker color) and a bright yellow (as the lighter color). Or a magenta pink and a bright yellow. Or a deeper blue/green with a hint of yellow for the lighter parts. Or bright orange with yellow. Or teal and yellow.... I keep going towards yellow, but I hear the lighter the color, the faster it fades. I do NOT like pink or purple. Those are my 2 hated colors. Can you give me some opinions?? I definitely need some feedback.....as I only have a week left. Please help!!! ;)

Family Matters

Do you ever feel like your an outcast or maybe a black sheep in your family? Well, I have for the majority of my life. It's something I have struggled with for longer than I can remember. My parents divorced when I was only 2 years old. My Dad and Grandma got very controlling and "protective". They basically never let me out of the house. Also, I hardly ever saw my Mom. I was very shy around her until High School. And we have built more of a friends relationship more than a Mother/daughter relationship. Some would say thats great...and sometimes I feel blessed. But a lot of time I don't even feel like her daughter. It can be hard sometimes. I also have a brother, Mike, and a sister, Michelle. They too sometimes treat me like I don't exist, or I just plain aren't their sister. They are in another world. I've always felt like I was on the outside looking in.....To something I've wanted so bad. I wonder sometimes do they do it on purpose or don't they even notice? Then I wonder which would be worse. Not sure how to fix these problems either...or if they will ever be fixed. I know people are worse off than me. But its been hard thinking that your Mother doesn't think of you as a daughter. or siblings you don't see you as their sister...Then there is my Dad's side of the family who never seem to take me seriously. So what if I didn't go to a real college?! I have a good job. And went to school for something I am passionate about. So what if I live with my boyfriend?! I love him. And if we do get married, its a marriage that will last, since I have already test drove it. Half the reason they all thought I was "bad" is they compared me to my Mother constantly. And I say..Ya...I am like her. So what?! I'm proud. My Mom is a good person, she too had a rough childhood. There are so many things I have learned over the years to ensure I'll be a great parent. Love. Respect. Honesty. Truthfulness. Privacy. Responsibility. I didn't receive these things growing up, and I don't want my children missing out on things I did. I've done a lot of growing up in the past few years; let go of a lot of grudges, dealt with pain, lost people I love, made hard decisions, figured out who my real friends are. I hope I continue on a good path. And hope my kids grow up happier than I did, as its taken a long time to "get over" things. Just venting......and or rambling..............

A little about me.

How old are you? 25
What is the highest level of education you have attained? Cosmo School
Which would you do over: High school or college? College.
In one sentence, describe your job. My job is fun and challenging, I enter invoices for payment and then run off checks to pay vendors.
Is your current job something you would like to do for the rest of your life? Sure, but I would also like to move up but stay in Accounts Payable.
Is it more important to have money or friends? Friends.
Do you own or rent your home? Rent
Work sucked. How do you cool off? Clean my entire house. Or go shopping. Either one would make me happy.
What would you buy with if someone gave you $5000 in cash? Pay off my credit cards and go on a shopping spree!
Are you in debt, and if so, how bad is it? About $1,500
Do you spend more time with friends or with family? Friends, I should probably spend more time with family but it seems like everyone including me is constantly busy!
If you were given 6 mos. paid vacation, what would you do? I would go backpacking around Europe. I want to see Italy, Paris and London.
Would you rather be better at your job or better at video games? My job. What a stupid question!
Whats the last good movie you saw? Stardust. It was a great movie!
Whats the last good book you read? Blue Christmas by Mary Kay Andrews.
What do you listen to on the radio? everything. B96, 1035Kiss FM, 95.1 Will Rock, Q101, Oldies channels...
Whats your favorite TV show? Grey's Anatomy

Deserted island - what would you take out of these categories:

Tool? a hammer
Friend? This is hard. I'd have to go with April, we have enough differences to where we wouldn't kill each other!!
Celebrity? Chris Daughtry. Hot and can Sing!
Book? a "How to" book
Gizmo? swiss army knife
Weapon? a knife
Extra article of clothing? A big t-shirt, I can use it in a lot of different ways; a shirt, a towel, sun blocker...
Photograph? A picture of My Mom and Dad and me from when I was a baby.
Food item? canned veggies

Whats your opinion on...

The President? I think he needs to pull our troops out of something that is NOT our problem. And bring my cousin home.
Oprah Winfrey? Generous.
Tom Cruise? He is different but seems like a good Dad.
Bill Gates? Smart
The internet? A brilliant idea!
Cell phones? I don't know what I would do without mine.
The Apple iPod? Good invention, but expensive.
American Idol? I LOVE IT! It's so funny at the beginning!!
Animal rights? Awesome. If we didn't have these people we would have so many extinct animals!
Gay marriage? Should NOT be banned.

Potica...continued.

So, I've decided that Potica SUCKS! It was a hell of a day. The whole process took 9 hours. First had to get supplies, and fight through all the crazy people in the baking isle in Jewel. When I started to prepare the 1st batch of dough...Mike only put in a 1/2 a cup of milk instead of 1 and a 1/2 cups. And then put in too much flour. Threw that batch out. Second batch...took longer than normal to raise. And the filling was major headache too, Mike let it overflow all over my stove! 7 hours later......we were able to put the 4 loaves of Potica in the oven to bake. When the timer went off, I looked in the oven and they didn't even look done. I'm use to Potica being brown and it was definitely not brown. So, I left it in there an extra 45 minutes. Still wasn't brown but had to do. Didn't wait it to become dry and nasty. It tasted pretty good but wasn't like how I remember when I was little. Next year I'm going to have to find a different recipe. Oh, and I forgot the worst part of the day! The whole time we had the oven/burners on it stunk like gas. So, I was praying we didn't blow up! Needless to say our stove died. Couldn't use the stove for a few days...Dad cut the gas off. But I got a new beautiful stove with a griddle!!! And Gramps loved the Potica!!

Potica

As I was growing up I remember my Grandpa coming home with this yummy coffee cake bread, called Potica (Pa-teet-za). It's an old Slovenian/Polish (European) bread. His (older) lady friends in the neighborhood would bake them for him, because he was there "handy" man. Unfortunately, these ladies have past away or they are too old to make anymore. So, this year I am going to learn (and start) making it for him every Christmas. Hopefully starting a new family tradition. This bread needs to stay in the family. It's delicious!

I'm am going to share the recipe with you! (It is a 4 hour project)

2 Teaspoons dry active yeast

½ Cup warm milk

1 Tablespoon sugar

Dissolve yeast and sugar in milk let set 5 minutes to activate the yeast.

Dough

1 ½ Cups Milk

¾ Cups Shortening

5 Egg Yolks

¾ Cups Sugar

2 Teaspoons Salt

1 Tablespoon Vanilla extract

1 Teaspoon Nutmeg

7-7 ½ Cups All purpose Flour

Combine Yeast mixture and the rest (except 2 Cups of flour) mix add the remaining flour until the dough can be handled without sticking. It takes 20 minutes kneading by hand, 9 minutes on a mixer with a bread hook.

Put dough in a large greased bowl and cover with plastic rap and let it relax and double in size in a warm environment.

Walnut Filling

1 stick margarine or butter (¼ pound)

1 ½ Cups milk

2 Cups sugar

½ Cup honey

1 Tablespoon vanilla

Grated peel of a lemon (0r orange)

5 Egg whites

Cinnamon

Some other variations you can add at this stage;

Tbsp Instant coffee, Coco or brandy to taste and to add color.

Start with milk and egg whites in 4 quart saucepan (or double boiler) and bring to 120 F, add margarine, zest and honey, then combine the dry ingredients then add it to the mixture, then bring to a simmer.


Take the mixture off of the heat and add 2 Pounds Walnuts, ground fine.

Roll out the dough pretty thin (about 1/4 inch), spread the filling (should not be hot) on the dough and roll it up.

You want it to end up as a 4 inch diameter cylinder, cut into loaves that will fit in your bread pans. (Good Idea to have a little piece of dough to put over the ends) or you can also use a “bunt” pan.

Cover with plastic wrap and let it relax and rise (not quite double in size).

Egg wash the top if you want a shinny top.

Bake in preheated oven @ 325 F for 1 hour.

After baking for 1 hour, remove from oven and remove loaves from pans.

Paint the skin with a little vegetable oil.

This is how it will look. Yummm!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Christmas Traditions

Christmas. It's my favorite time of the year. Every year no matter how old I am I get excited for Christmas. It's seeing the happy faces on everyone around, kids opening their presents gleaming of excitement, decorations, Christmas music...

It has been tradition in my family to celebrate Christmas on Christmas Eve. We all gather at Grandma's house early afternoon, and simply hang out until dinner is ready. When I was younger my cousin Nate and I would sneak around the tree and find all our presents. (Wow, I miss him a lot...) We would always watch the old Christmas cartoons like Hard Rock and Coco and Joe, Frosty the Snowman, Suzie the Snowflake, Rudolf...

Just before dinner we have these Christmas wafers called Oplatki, we go around the table a break a piece off of each other and say Merry Christmas. It's an old Polish tradition. Then we feast on Christmas dinner. I make the scalloped potatoes, my Aunt Therese makes the Rum cake and pies, Gramma makes ham and polish sausage, Aunt Patty makes the salad... Everyone seems to have a piece in the puzzle. But I will admit, my scalloped taters are the best!

After dinner, my Uncle Bart tells a Christmas story..they are different every year. It was just another way to make us kids wait to open presents! He would always drag it out sooo long! But its one of those things that I learned to like and appreciate and now look forward to.

Then we would open presents. Everyone has a turn being "Santa": the person who hands out presents. We then rip presents open like wild beasts!!!!

Back when we were kids we would all share and play with our presents. But things are getting boring. All the boys are playing video games. Us girls are getting shoes, sheets, clothes. So, we started playing board games and watching movies. And we all drink wine now...its wonderful.

The only thing that has bothered me to this day, is that I've never spent one Christmas with my Mom and her side of the family. It has always been a week or a month later... I want that to change. So, this year I am going to try my absolute hardest to make time and see them on Christmas day!

Christmas is very special to me. I cannot wait to share this holiday and traditions with my little ones someday.

Merry Christmas!!!!

Indecisiveness

"Indecisiveness" - just not being able to decide, one way or another - is a situation that seems to bother many people.

"Every decision you make
is a mistake."
- Edward Dahlberg

I found this Quote, and it got me thinking about things.

I am the most indecisive person that I know. And it varies between big decisions like choosing the right person you want to marry to small decisions like if I want Wendy's or Mcdonald's for dinner. I'm not sure how I came to be like this. But then I thought about my Dad. He is pretty indecisive too. It can take him weeks or even months to buy a new washer and dryer. But he can buy a XBOX 360 and a Playstation 3 with no questions asked. Strange....

I vary between making hasty and impulsive decisions and becoming paralyzed from making any decisions at all. So, how do I fix this? I will happily take suggestions.

Well, I decided to start small. Today I made a small decision...I decided to make chili for dinner instead of burgers. Ha! Tomorrow I will try something more difficult. Hhmm, maybe

I've come to realize life is full of tough decisions, dilemmas, seemingly no-win situations, times when we flat out don't know what to do-but we still have to do something.....otherwise we are just wasting lots of precious time.

Something to occupy my time..

So, I started a blog. I got the idea from my girly Bella. Thought this might be fun. I get bored easy at work..and home quite a bit. Myspace can only occupy so much time before it gets old. I love to cook, so I may post some recipes of mine that I think you all might enjoy. I also love to ramble about dumb things...so this will be the perfect spot to do that! Or just give simple updates on whats going on in this crazy world of mine....

Stay tuned! :)