Need to get back on track.

I think I realized why I've been in a gloomy funk lately. I feel so horribly fat and ugly. I have no one to blame than myself. (And maybe all my co-workers having birthdays..and the delicious baked goods they have been bringing in...) And MY birthday is coming up-that means more delicious yummy baked goods + Birthday dinners 3 nights in a row. Friday= Mom's house: Brats and homemade fries (my fav), Saturday: Birthday dinner with the future in-laws at Olive Garden, and Sunday (my actual Birthday) I get to have dinner with my beloved fiance...to our 1 of our favorite places the Outback Steakhouse.

If I had some great willpower I could order salads from every place. However, it's my birthday...and I believe the birthday-girl should have whatever she wants. So...I will definitely be putting more weight on over the weekend. (Hopefully not too much)

I've been trying to eat right everyday for the last 2 weeks. And for the most part I have been. AND I've been exercising. But ever since I lost that 25 pounds (3 months ago) and then put 10 pounds back on...it's gotten me down. Like I have said in previous posts...I want to get healthy (not skinny)...but I also want to look good for my wedding AND my good friend Bella's wedding.

I guess what I'm saying is..I have to get back into the groove. I have AWESOME willpower when I put my mind to something...especially loosing weight. Hey..I figure if I can loose over 100 pounds in a year, I can loose 30 in 8 months...right? Not only do I look better when I loose weight, but I feel better. Not just physically but emotionally too. I get so depressed sometimes. I stinks! I'm usually OVERLY excited about my Birthday every year...and with 4 days away..I'm STILL waiting for that excitement to come.

Just venting/rambling.......

Thanks for listening.