August 3, 2008

He said yes!

This is a follow up to my Sacrifices? post.

Saturday we had our follow-up meeting with Uncle Fr. Bart at St. John Cantius to find out if he was going to agree to marry us. I was overloaded with emotions. I was nervous, sad, mad, confused.. But as we met in Fr. Bart's (beautiful) office...I started to feel at ease. He asked us if we thought about the situation (and we had VERY much). He told us that it was 'homework' or a 'test'. He wanted us to make an important decision (living separately) as we would have important decisions like this after we were married. He also wanted us to experience our families giving their '2 cents' and having to come up with a decision that WE agreed on, not what other people wanted us to do. There were a few factors to why we couldn't (and wouldn't) move out. The 2 biggest reasons were money issues and how Mike doesn't have his drivers license. Fr. Bart realized it wasn't that we want to live together to have a 'trail marriage' as that is what he thought originally. He has agreed to perform our Sacrament of Marriage. I say Sacrament because that is truly what it will be. He also reminded us of the rules of a Catholic Marriage...1. Divorce is NOT an option 2. Conceiving a child 3.No adultery. We couldn't agree more.

He asked us what we thought the first problem we will run into as a married couple. I thought financial issues. But I was wrong. It is Freedom. He gave us examples like maybe Mike goes out every Friday night with the guys to play pool and now that we are married I tell him that I want us to spend time alone..What will Mike do?. I think this issue has already been resolved in the past 4 years Mike and I have been together. We are ok with each other having a 'girls/boys night out' once in a while because we know that spending time together as a couple is more enjoyable and we both trust each other. So...we have already started learning how married life will be like.

There is 1 stipulation. We have to sleep in separate rooms. And live as brother and sister as this is what God said in the Bible. Luckily, we have no problem doing this and it will most likely make our life as a married couple more exciting.

I was unsure how I would feel about this whole situation.....but I am SO relieved. A BIG weight has been lifted off my shoulders and Mike's. We have been so stressed out because finding a priest to marry us IS the most important thing..So, we can continue our planning! Yippee! Next, we must find a ceremony musician, and luckily we have a family friend who has 20+ years experience...

Also, our last 2 meetings have been part of our Pre-Cana (pre-martial counseling). We only have 3 hours to go! We meet with Fr. Bart again in October so he can meet Mike's parents and ask them questions under oath. Since, Fr. Bart is my Uncle/Godfather he will be my witness and doesn't need my parents present. Yippee for me!

2 comments:

Krista said...

That explains a lot. But now I have another question. A goal of a catholic marriage is to have children. Okay. What if you can't conceive? For whatever reason (you can't, he can't, or who knows why else). Is the marriage nullified? I guess the nuances of catholicism elude me.

Jenny said...

Well they don't do any kinds of tests on you. And if you end up not being able to conceive, then that's ok. You (we) will still go into the marriage vowing that we will TRY (or vowing not to use contraceptives) to have children...and if we can't than it's in God's hands. I don't believe everything the Catholic church says. But I have to (try) and follow the rules!